Sexual satisfaction is constantly
addressed by magazines and s ex columns in an attempt to answer the
elusive question, "What do women want in bed?" So what does your woman
really want in bed? Besides deep intimacy, romance, and maybe an
exciting new position to try? What she truly desires is a connection
with you — her man. You're probably wondering how to achieve that, so
here's a simple guide to doing just that — what women want!
Step 1: Be Confident
When a woman is quiet or seems
dissatisfied, a man often looks to himself, wondering if he's lacking
technique or not doing enough to please his partner. A man may expect to
hear those moans of passion and see his woman lose herself. If this
level of intensity is missing, he may wonder, what's wrong?
The truth about what women want in bed lies less in technique and even more so in the attitude. She craves your confidence.
A woman doesn't expect a man to read her
mind, but rather maintain a sense of curiosity when it comes to
the details of her body and eager to explore it. She wants a take-charge
kind of guy, who's neither shy nor timid about his need to completely
ravage every bit of her.
As se x educators, we teach women the
very same thing. We encourage women to take charge of their se x lives
by communicating their wants and needs to their partners. Through
communication, we remind them, they're much more likely to get their
needs met. If a woman is more confident, the theory holds, he's likely
to feed off of her confidence.
That said, women do want to take on the
role of feminine vixen, true to their biology and the root carnal force.
In the bedroom, all humans crave and need to remain true to their
gender roles, whatever they may be. And these men in the movies are
confident in their own sexuality and completely focused on the woman and
the moment. These men are present and ready to devour every inch of
Part 2: Don't Rush Things — Enjoy The R ide
In reality, many men are often focused
on the end goal: orgasm. Rushing to get to the climax like they're in a
race, they often forget to be present and in the moment. Most women will
grow bored of this.
not saying women don't like a quickie every now and then, but this
approach will eventually kill the enjoyment of se x. And often, this
betrays a lack of confidence in the man. A woman's intuition kicks in.
A woman wants to feel that she's in the
hands of a stable, secure, present, and focused man — not a guy who's
racing to the finish line. This kind of juvenile behavior leaves her
feeling like less than a woman. There's also a lot of truth to all the
hype about foreplay.
Foreplay has less to do with specific se
x acts, like kissing or oral se x, and much more to do with romance.
The key to good foreplay is to relish every second of the experience, to
be a little selfish (yes, selfish) but also present in the moment — and not rushing through it.
foreplay includes inhaling her scent and touching every part of her
body with your hands and mouth. True foreplay includes kissing lips,
necks, ears, and then some. It involves undressing her, slowly enough,
but not too slow, with just the right amount of force.
Foreplay includes touching parts of her
body you don't normally touch, inner thighs, lower stomach — and
excluding the va gina until the very last moment. Touching close — but
not right away — adds an element of tease to the act too. Massaging the
feet while kissing her, touching her legs and thighs with passionate
squeezes — all the while being focused and present.
In the end, confidence is key, not just
in the way a man carries himself, but also in the way he makes her feel —
like she's in the hands of someone who knows what he wants, knows what
he's doing and gives her the security she needs to completely surrender.
Bringing this to the bedroom can unleash her inner vixen. If she feels
safe and secure, she is more likely to let her wild side come out, too.