Read his post below
Good day Jzhane,
You doing a great Job, especially with your WhatsApp group I belong to. I like matured ways issues are dealt with.I have learnt so much from it and that has motivated me to write cos I don’t want to make a regrettable marriage mistake that can be avoided. Am going to be 27years old in couple of days. I have been dating this gal for eight months now though we been friends for almost two years now, and I must confess I loved her with all my life from the very first sight of her and still do but am getting scare.
I am working and doing well as a young guy. I planned to get married between early next year.but am really having cold feet.I met Bisi on my way back from a job interview, I stopped at a Bank to regularize some issues with my account, that was the genesis of our friendship.from the queue, we exchange phone numbers. Bisi, was a 300level Unilag student.
She was from a below average family, and i didn’t mind. I got the job I went for the day I met her, that made me admire her the more as we talk most on phone besides, she is pretty, soft spoken, look fragile like an angel that should not be hurt. Above all I also felt that she brought me luck.
Not sooner had we started talking that she opened up to me about her rough past, she been raped about three different times. How she goes to parties on campus and some occasions at the end guys have s*x with them. But she told me she is changed that she didn’t know differently till it dawned on her, but at that time, the havoc been done already she was going to graduate with a 3rd class.I still didn’t mind, I had this urge that if truly she changed I was going to fill that vacuum in her life. So, My likeness for her grew the more because of her openness.
I just wanted to be that big brother she never had, to protect her, love her.Her only sibling is a bolder than her, younger brother and only sibling with over ten years and she is from a single parents.
But up to this time, I never made any serious commitment to her, we where just friends for almost a year, though I visit her some times on my way from work at her school, I also buy her gifts and send her money when she is broke, I actually persuaded her to ask me whenever she is instead of going to male friends who take advantage of her. One of her of the persons who raped her was a friend of her who promised her money but raped her when she went to his place for the money he promised her.
We had a program in my church where I was ordain a youth leader, so I invited her. I was sitted at the front when I noticed her, one of our usher immediately ushered her. He is a womanizer as most sister’s in church have reported how he harass them s*xually. I observed how he couldn’t take his eyes off her and moment the service ended I saw both exchanging numbers.
I warned her about him, that she stay away from him,hoping she will even delete his number after all I told her. Well, we were to have an all night after the program so I invite her cos I was also looking for how to ways to help her spiritually. So, I told her I will picķ her up on my way from work and we go from the place I was putting up. But, she insisted it will be stress for me, that she will come since i was not driving.besides, she already knows my uncle’s place since i took her there the last time she came and that we go from there.
I got home that Friday as I called her I was leaving work.Surprisingly, she was not there, I got home 9pm, 10pm she was no where and was not picking.i left for the all night by 10:30pm. As I stepped into church worried not knowing what to do or think of, I saw a brother I knew, after exchanging greeting. He said i saw that my friend I brought last program at the Ushers place at about 8pm.i couldn’t believe my ears. By 11pm they both walked in.
After, the all night I confronted her and she said she felt she be more comfortable with him than my cousin. Obviously, they have been communicating. Well, a week later, she also was at his place. Well, I told her I was no longer interested, though I still love her so much. She left without really saying anything , after one month she came now wanting us back. I told her we was done. But, she be truly crying and it break my heart she her weep bitterly.
I don’t know if she is just a naive girl or she has not learnt from her past. How is it that she cannot see that this guy wants to take advantage of her. I hoped she would know better especially with her bad experiences with guys
Pls ma, how can I help her. We have not had anything intimate, so it not like I have taking undue advantage of her. But I just love her. By an scared we might have issue. I have doubts in my heart of her ability to remain faithful. It appears she can be easily tempted. Or is she trying to play me?
I promise her we will talk next week that why I am seeking your advise before we meet.