'Talk Sense Into My Head, I Can't Have Normal S ex Like Any Other Lady'

To avoid lengthy episodes permit me to keep it simple by going straight to the point. Thanks

As a young lady who's in her early 20s I find it extremely difficult to love a guy not to talk about being in a relationship with one.

There is this guy who can't just help but to love me passionately. We've been together for 9yrs now but who would believe we had se x just once? YES! Just once after enough fighting and struggling.
Sometimes,I had to lock myself inside to weep cuz it's painful and it hurts! Why can't I have normal se x like any other lady out there?
I just detest having  se x with a guy and it's as a result of this that I've lost most of my relationships. This stuff is making me sick cuz I want to enjoy se x with a man like any other lady.

THE MAJOR PROBLEM IS THAT AM "BIsexual" but a larger part of me hungers for same se x

And the ladies are not even helping matters cuz they also yearn for me every now and then.,
,
I've tried hanging out with some cool guyz even to the extent of doing stuff with them YET! Nothing positive came out.

Presently,am dating a banker and believe me every other thing is perfectly in order EXCEPT the issue of s ex.

Am worried cuz I know exactly what it means for someone you love so dearly to deny you of something.

I've prayed
I've also cried my eyes out
I've even gone for counselling @least to ameloriate this kind of lifestyle YET! Things are still the same.
Someone should pls tell me what else to do...