Sometimes the problem is staring back at you in the mirror.
You are a master manipulator: “It’s no secret that compulsively lying to your partner is detrimental to the success of your relationship, but gaslighting takes it to a whole other level of destruction; gaslighting is when you accuse your loved one of being crazy or paranoid to keep them off your trail of lies in a toxic relationship, it’s a triple threat when you withhold information, lie about it, then gaslight your partner and make them think it’s them, they’re damaging the relationship irreparably”.
You’re always threatening to break up: “No one likes to waste their time and energy arguing, but you can’t draw the break-up card every time things get tough; threats of taking a break or ending the relationship aren’t going to solve anything in a toxic relationship, it’s only valid if you mean it and do it, otherwise it just damages the safety and security of the relationship”.
You’re hot-headed: “You may find it doesn’t take much to get your blood boiling, one wrong move and suddenly you snap and blurt nasty remarks you don’t mean, you continue to have these cycles of anger, remorse, shame, and provoked anger without understanding”.
You never fix problems: “If you neglect to nip problems in the bud, they’re just going to fester and blow up in your face down the road, which can cause your partner to resent you; if you never apologize or admit that you’re wrong and make things right, your partner will accrue a host of negative memories related to being unfairness and injustice and that will break the relationship”.
You’re addicted to social media: “People are constantly on Facebook and Instagram snapping selfies and posting statuses without a single thought about the consequences but studies show that engaging in social media can create ambiguity in the relationship, which can cause jealousy and spiral into a toxic relationship; letting technology get the best of you can make you accidentally be the toxic one in your relationship”.
You only think about yourself: “Narcissists are extremely self-serving and feel no remorse when they hurt others, which makes them difficult to be around; you’re only aware of what your partner does to you and not aware of what you do to them”.
You humiliate your partner: “Many people may be blind to their hurtful criticism, they may shame someone for their looks, s3x drive, or career without batting an eye; if several people have called you a bully, you may want to listen and fix it before you lose them, you have to put yourself in the other person’s position and realize how would you feel if you were shamed; come up with a list of strategies in how you can tell someone you have a problem with them in a loving way”.
Your partner is always the last to know everything: “Your significant other should be at the top or close to the top of that pyramid, which means they should be the first person you confide in; if not, that kind of behaviour can be interpreted by your partner as a betrayal”.
You don’t have your partner’s back: “As a couple, your goal is to protect each other, no one is going to date you if you never stick up for them; if you’re not providing that need to ensure each other’s sense of safety and security, it defies the whole psychobiological purpose of being with another person”.