Everyday we see people who had vowed to love one another till death turning around to detest each other and despite the clamor for someone to love,many people are left with heartbreak with single mums and dads on the increase which makes me wonder if this thing called love exists.

I think the reason many relationships fail these days is because we don't ask the right questions and we allow that crazy emotion gets the best part of us simply because we seek for love rather than seek for the real deal.

Wouldn't it be better if we have a different approach towards this facade called love affair?

I present to you 10 reasons why we should rather settle for a partner rather than an unrealistic lover...

1.A partner does not bother about us being compatible or whether I love her but she is more concerned about what we stand to benefit from each other. We are not parasitic but symbiotic in our partnership and both of us have something we bring to the table.

2. We are both ready without being melodramatic...we are not controlled by our heart but we use our heads. She sees what she wants in me and I see what I want in her...we ask the right questions and do due diligence to be sure and we get it on without fear of the so called heartbreak..we take it as a deal and not an unrealistic love affair.

3. We are less concerned whether we are meant for one another, if one person wants kids and the other does, if one person wants to commit and the other doesn’t, if one wants to live somewhere the other doesn’t, etc...all we do is weigh the options and if it is still worth it,we become partners and if not,we go our separate ways.

4.It is a deal with little emotions attached.You don’t find yourself trying to piece together “evidence” that they love you. You don’t have so much subconscious doubt that you feel you need to prove it to yourself, or anybody else. And more interesting is that you don't feel betrayed or hate on each other if either of you decide to quit.

5.Just like business partners, you can voice your concerns about the relationship without fear or being sentimental or emotional...communication is more frank and sincere.

6. Sex is never on demand but more pleasurable cos you will get it when the other person is ready unlike the must have in the case of marital love affairs...this simply means that If you stripped away the sexual part of your relationship, you’d still be best friends.

7. You can simply be yourself. You’re more desired and appreciated in a realistic manner everyday moments than you are when you’re going out or trying to impress the one you love.
8. You are more cautious,responsible and dedicated just like in a business partnership...You’re not necessarily completely certain, but you are absolutely willing to see whether or not you can become certain over time.

9. You’re happy and will remain so on your own regardless of the outcome . You could continue to be happy on your own, even if you lost this person cos you are already prepared emotionally. This is to say: you are not clinging to this person because you’re just terrified of being alone.

10. You actually want to spend time with them. A lot of time.You feel more at peace than you do anything else. At the core of your relationship is a very calm knowing, not a hectic need to prove anything to anyone.

In my opinion,if everyone can look for a partner rather than a lover,the world will witness the best union imaginable cos by trying to be a great partner,you inadvertedly become a great lover.

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