There’s more to
relationships than emotions — the very same goes for love. Yet we
understand how much a person means to us through our emotions by the way
he or she makes us feel.
This worries me a bit as emotions exist in one place and one place only: you.
Of course, one could just as easily argue that all that should matter to us is that which exists in our head (a fair point).
We are a world
living inside a world — a system within a system. And that which
connects those two worlds are our thoughts and emotions.
make us feel alive because they are tethered to the world outside us.
Without them, nothing would seem real because nothing would feel real.
And what are we if not animals struggling with the concept of reality, the concept of existence, of life, of purpose?
We look toward emotions for guidance, reassurance. While this is likely a mistake, an illusion leading to delusion, it is part of our nature. It’s evolutionary instinct.
But emotions do
not exist in the physical plane. They do not exist outside of us —
outside of conscious beings. For this reason, if love is nothing but an
emotion or web of emotions, then love does not actually exist.
The one thing
you can’t do, however, is fake it. If you’ve never felt intense desire
for the man or woman in your life, then don’t expect another few years
to change that.
This one is a
bit tricky. You don’t want to feel jealous too often — because that’s
most definitely not a good sign — but you also need to feel jealous from
time to time.
only bad if we act on it poorly. The feeling itself is harmless. More
than that, it can be incredibly useful for keeping things exciting.
Jealousy is a very exciting emotion. It forces upon us a reminder of how much we want to keep someone for ourselves.
I understand this sort of wanting for yourself isn’t for everyone, and there are some who have a more open approach to love.
One way isn’t better than the other — simply different. Personally, I enjoy feeling jealous. I enjoy wanting.
As long as you use that jealousy as positive motivation, then your relationship will only benefit from it.
If there is no jealousy in your relationship, then you may want to ask yourself why.
If you’ve never
longed for someone, missed this person when he or she wasn’t around to
the point it became unpleasant, then I don’t think you were ever in
To love someone
is to find someone you understand you are connected to — a connection
which you always felt existed but never understood until now.
Once you meet
this person, you’re going to want to shorten the distance between the
two of you and keep it shortened. When distance is a necessity, you’re
going to long for his or her presence.
This won’t be constant, but it is necessary. Otherwise, the relationship will fail, the marriage will end.
4. Utter Bliss
You either are
in love or you aren’t in love. The turning point in which you go from
the latter to the former is a point of utter bliss.
It’s that moment when you realize this person, who, not too long ago, was a stranger, now means everything to you.
You could lose
your job, break your leg, screw something up royally, and as long as
this person, this beautiful person, remains a part of your life, you
could not care any less.
This is the moment we realize we are in love, and if this sounds strange to you, then I’m sorry, but you haven’t found it yet.
They say love
gives us rose-colored glasses, that it tints our perception of the world
around us and makes us turn a blind eye to all the evil that lurks. I
don’t believe that to be correct.
Finding love doesn’t blind you; it makes you hopeful.
It makes you
hopeful of the possibility that things are going to turn out all right.
It gives you the hope that the world may not be as horrible as it so
Love gives you
hope for a life filled with more happiness and less sadness — that
maybe, whatever you’re doing, you’re doing right.
Love makes us feel less like failures and more like ever-wandering wanderers.
We know very
little about life and the world around us, but we lose the fear of
thinking we’re completely lost. How could we be when we managed to find
such an amazing individual?